The Truth About Becoming a Parent II: Fellow Mums Tell It Like It Is

Rosie

Becoming and being a mother is not an easy task, both in a physical and emotional sense. When I had Rosie, a lot of dear friends reached out, as they knew the rocky road of motherhood already. Not so long ago, I asked them to tell me how they experienced motherhood. They also have little ones at home. To my greatest excitement, I received amazing stories, and today, this is what I would love to share with you.

Reading about their fabulous journeys, I hope you find advice and support. Because as you will see, we all agree that one can't fully be prepared.

You can read my full story and experience here: The Truth About Becoming a Parent.

Do ask any questions you might have. Without any further ado, it is my pleasure to present you three lovely ladies and their little ones: Roxanne and Aria-Rose, Rosie and Anna Rose and Krisztina and Nathan. Thank you so much for sharing your stories.

Roxanne & Aria-Rose

My story of becoming a mother began one morning when I just had a feeling so I decided to take a pregnancy test and to my complete surprise there were two little lines!! I was so excited to tell my husband as I knew how much he would love to become a Daddy. I know I was quite lucky with my pregnancy as I didn't suffer with morning sickness and the only symptom I really had was heartburn. For me my pregnancy went really fast and before I knew it, I was fast approaching my due date.

I was adamant that my little girl was going to be late, so when one week before her due date I started having pain in my belly and my husband said do you think you could be in labour I just kept brushing it off saying no it's not time yet, it is probably just braxton hicks (I didn't even have my hospital bag packed!). I kept trying to sleep through the night and they did get more intense. At 4am my husband said to me: "Look, I think we should pack your hospital bag just in case", so at 4am there we were with me ordering him what to pack between contractions (but I was still in denial).

I stayed at home until 4pm; by that time I knew for sure I was in labour and I stood up and my waters broke, so I knew it was time to go in.

I arrived at Eastbourne hospital and they examined me and told me I was 5cm dilated and they started filling the birthing pool. I must have been in the pool around 10 mins and I had a massive urge to push. I can't explain the feeling it is just like your body takes over and knows exactly what to do. By 6.14pm my little girl was in my arms and to be honest, at that moment I think I went into shock. I could not believe that this tiny human had come from me!

I am not going to lie for me the contractions were painful, more painful then the actual act of giving birth. But no one tells you that that is the easy part. I had given birth to this amazing, beautiful, tiny little girl and I remember actually saying to my husband as we left the hospital: ''They are letting us take his baby home, she is ours to look after''.

You can read all the books, attend antenatal classes, speak to other parents. But NOTHING prepares you to become a parent, I am not sure if anything really can ever prepare you. It truly is the hardest thing I have ever done in my life.

We decided to breastfeed and I was always told if it hurts then you are not doing it right. For me the first 6 weeks were excruciating but trust me when I say it honestly does get easier with time and now we have completed 6 months exclusively breastfeeding. (I have nothing against formula feeding and would have done it myself had breastfeeding not worked out for us).

There have been days where I have felt like I am a terrible mother, and I have no idea what I am doing. There have been days where I have thought I have no idea why she is crying or what I am supposed to do, there have been many nights where I have been woken up every hour, I would go to bed and instead of that feeling I used to get at the end of the day relieved to be in bed, I would be worried that as soon as I lay down she would wake up crying. I have never been so exhausted in my life. There have been nights where me and my husband have argued for no reason at 3am just because we were tired and also times where he has not heard her crying, so I have sat there alone.

You don't always hear how hard the transition of becoming a mother is, which is why I have been honest, but there have also been so many beautiful moments. First smiles, first giggles and an unimaginable love. I have watched my husband become an amazing father and the love between them is so amazing. Would I change any of it? Not for anything in the world. Because she is my heart and I would give my life for my little girl.

Rosie and Anna Rose

You see magazines, pregnant women looking down their perfectly round bumps with their perfect skin and hair. Few months into my pregnancy I got to realize that it is indeed all a lie! Yes, ladies, we have been lied to by the media, our moms and other moms! They say you forget about giving birth right after it’s done. Oh no! You will not forget that day ever. But that is only one single drop in the big ocean of Breastmilk (or formula :D).

So You think you can be prepared for parenting? You read books, huh? Oh, good for you [if gte vml 1]><v:shapetype id="_x0000_t75" coordsize="21600,21600" o:spt="75" o:preferrelative="t" path="m@4@5l@4@11@9@11@9@5xe" filled="f" stroked="f"> <v:stroke joinstyle="miter"></v:stroke> <v:formulas> <v:f eqn="if lineDrawn pixelLineWidth 0"></v:f> <v:f eqn="sum @0 1 0"></v:f> <v:f eqn="sum 0 0 @1"></v:f> <v:f eqn="prod @2 1 2"></v:f> <v:f eqn="prod @3 21600 pixelWidth"></v:f> <v:f eqn="prod @3 21600 pixelHeight"></v:f> <v:f eqn="sum @0 0 1"></v:f> <v:f eqn="prod @6 1 2"></v:f> <v:f eqn="prod @7 21600 pixelWidth"></v:f> <v:f eqn="sum @8 21600 0"></v:f> <v:f eqn="prod @7 21600 pixelHeight"></v:f> <v:f eqn="sum @10 21600 0"></v:f> </v:formulas> <v:path o:extrusionok="f" gradientshapeok="t" o:connecttype="rect"></v:path> <o:lock v:ext="edit" aspectratio="t"></o:lock> </v:shapetype><v:shape id="_x0000_i1025" type="#_x0000_t75" alt="😘" style='width:18pt; height:18pt'> <v:imagedata src="file:///C:\Users\Eniko\AppData\Local\Temp\msohtml1\01\clip_image001.png" o:href="https://static.xx.fbcdn.net/images/emoji.php/v9/fce/1.5/16/1f618.png"></v:imagedata> </v:shape><![endif][if !vml][endif]Let me tell you about my experience.

Once upon a time, there was a young lady who has always dreamt about becoming a mother. She had perfect plans for raising her beloved child. Then came the toddler. A toddler who stumped across her perfect plan and ripped it into pieces.

What I mean is, things don’t always work out the way you want them. Because you are not alone anymore...uhm...let me rephrase...you will NEVER get to be alone anymore. (Yes, you can forget about using the toilet in private) Are you really ready to become a parent? Waking up at 7:15 in the morning, thinking - wooow! What a lay in! You get to cook for someone who is not hungry! You need to be prepared to watch the same cartoon on repeat for months! (Months! Seriously! My husband sings all the songs from Moana).

Then you might ask, ok...but can you ever be prepared? The answer is no. It is a learning process. Like when you get a new job, and you know nothing about the role, and they make you the manager...No quitting, no breaks, no holidays and you don’t get paid. Despite all the above, we still do it. Why? Reason no 1 - They are not refundable or returnable. Reason no 2 - We love them! And it is the most rewarding job on this planet! With a good sense of humour and reasonable amount of coffee it will be the best time of your life. Don’t freak out!

Krisztina and Nathan

I will begin my story with the fact that I never really longed for a child. I was too worried to lose my independence, my freedom and last but not least, my looks - not that I am perfect. About 5 years ago I met my partner, and we almost immediately started talking about babies, in the very first weeks. Somehow through him, my feelings about a child changed.

Unfortunately, we were unsuccessful trying for a baby for several years, so we opted for medical advice. After numerous examinations, we tried IVF fertilisation, and it worked immediately.

We were very happy, but I did not truly realise that a tiny little human is growing inside me (to this day I sometimes tell myself that "I am a mother" - it fills me with fear, but also comfort).

Well, my little one was born 04.12.2017, and what has this changed in me? Innumerable things. The first thing, that I also never thought of myself, is that I would learn to be patient. Sometimes I still can't believe this is me. My friends and family know how impetuous I am and that I want everything immediately. That is to say, this is how I would describe my old self. Of course, there are more difficult days, but my partner, my friends and family help a lot. Sometimes I feel I have no idea what I would do without them, and through this I learned how to ask for help, something I did not really go for in the past. However, if I ask for their help, I am more relaxed, and that's good for my little one, too.

In the past, I used to put myself first; this is somewhere logical I think, being an only child. This does not imply that I was mean as I had numerous friends, and I felt they loved me; I helped them where and when I could. Now however, my little one is at the forefront of everything, but I guess this is how it is for every mother.

Even though many say: " Just because I have a child, I still need to live!", this is not true in my case. I am sorry about every minute I do not get to spend with him, and I worry that I might miss out on something. For example, if he stands up. Hence, "me-time" can wait.

I learned to worry, maybe even a little too much. Until now, I could say that I lived my life under the motto of "You Only Live Once". Since we had Nathan though, I worry every day. I worry if I am doing everything right, if I might lose him - I do not even dare to think about this! In the night, I am always half-awake, checking if he is breathing; if he is crying and I cannot comfort him, why is it so, "Am I doing something wrong?"

My life has completely changed, but I love every moment of it. It is the best thing that happened to me, that this little miracle is here.

#fellowmums #mumstories #parenthood